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DAVID NIVEN.
Telling his prawn story
Vladimir Putin was
practicing
a eulogy speech for an assassinated
Russian political leader
in
front of a mirror.
"He was a dear patriot and credit
"He was a dear patriot and credit
to the Motherland,
whom I personally
adored
as a friend and colleague.
I vow, as leader of Russia,
to find the
culprits responsible
for this vicious murder..."
Putin then stopped
Putin then stopped
and turned to his aide.
"Are you sure this strikes
the
right tone, Yuri?
I mean, in terms of timing?
I've been a bit preoccupied,
so
remind me, when was he killed?"
After a few moments
After a few moments
consulting his notes,
the aide replied,
"Next week,
sir."
Top 10 Funniest Car
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May 2019
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Odds and Ends
One very hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog,
tied it under the shade of a tree,
and headed into a restaurant for something
cold to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and
asked,
‘Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?’
The blonde said it was hers.
‘Your dog seems to be in heat,’ the officer said.
The blonde replied,
‘No way. She’s cool ’cause she’s tied up
under that shade tree.’
The policeman said, ‘No! You don’t understand.
Your dog needs to
be bred.’
‘No way,’ said the blonde.
‘My dog doesn’t need bread She isn’t
hungry
’cause I fed her this mornin.’
The exasperated policeman said,
‘NO! You don’t understand.
Your
dog wants to have sex!’
The blonde looked at the cop and said,
‘Well, go ahead. I always
wanted a police dog.’
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