561
this is the last Phils Phun for a couple of weeks
Taking a short break
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Great photography
This is quite a piece----
watch to the very end........
Provokingly stunning!
Provokingly stunning!
Make sure your sound is on
View in Full Screen
Stick with it after slide show is
over...
thanks Jayne M
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Simple photo's that tell a bigger story
The Grumpy King
-----------------------
Phacts
Once upon a time, a Sultan was blessed with the birth of a son
after years of hoping.
The boy immediately became the apple of his father’s
eye.
Just before his son’s sixth birthday,
the Sultan said to him,
“Son, I love
you very much.Your birthday is coming soon.
What would you like?”
His son
replied, “Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane.”
His father bought him
American Airlines.
Just before his son’s seventh birthday,
the Sultan said,
“Son, you are my pride and joy.
Ask what you want for your birthday
Whatever
it is, it’s yours.”
His son replied, “Daddy, I would like a boat.”
His father
bought him the Princess Cruise Line.
Just before his son’s eighth birthday, the
Sultan said,
“Son, you bring so much happiness into my life.
Anything you want,
I shall get for you.”
His son replied, “Daddy, I would like to be able to watch
cartoons.”
His father bought him Disney Studios.
Just before his son’s ninth
birthday, the Sultan said,
“Son, you are my life. Your birthday is coming soon.
Ask what you wish. I will get for you.”
His son, who had grown to love Disney,
replied,
“Daddy, I would like a Mickey Mouse outfit.”
His father bought him the Australian Liberal Party!
------------------------------
An old doctor and his nurse were on
the train,
going to a medical conference.
Opposite them was a man furiously scratching his elbow.
“I wonder what’s the matter with him?”
asked the nurse.
“He’s a patient of mine and, in confidence,
I can tell you that he suffers
badly from hemorrhoids,”
replied the doctor.
“Well, why he’s scratching his elbow?”
asked the puzzled nurse.
“Oh, he’s a Politician,
and he doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.”
Those Funny Animals
The Hippo The Croc and The Pig
---------------------
at the Duplex
------------------------------
Rondo In The Turkish Style
The all women
Russian music group Soprano 10
(СОПРАНО 10) perform Mozart’s “Rondo In The
Turkish Style”
in this entertaining music video.
This is a lively and fun version
of Mozart’s classic Piano Sonata No.
11.
------------------
Inspiring Pictures
-------------------------------------
All you need is love
A
renown scientist specializing in the geology
and archaeology of ancient Africa
was mounting
an expedition to central Africa in order
to study the interesting
rock formations upon
which it had been theorized that
ancient civilizations had
built their houses.
He was accompanied by several students
who were eager to
get their first experience
in the field as well as impress their professor.
The
famous professor of geology and his assistants
were investigating some
fascinating rock formations that were,
as far as they could determine, unknown
to science.
These particular rocks appeared to exhibit unusual characteristics.
For example, when one of the student assistants came up
to them and began to
scientifically test the rocks' properties,
she was amazed to discover that they
appeared to contain remnants of life.
Deeply imbedded in the rocks were trace
remains
of carbon and other elements that suggested that these
rocks themselves
were actually alive;
their texture was soft, pliable, almost breathing.
The
young assistant approached the professor
with her discovery and could think of
nothing else to say
except to query the professor with a question:
"Doctor, living stone, I presume?"
It
seems like in 1995 or so the pollution in the atmosphere
of London has started
to kill off all the rooks.
And the city government is very concerned
because
the rooks roosting on the cornices
and the odd little crannies of the public
buildings
are a big attraction.
The Yanks with their Kodaks, if you get it
. So
they say, "What are we going to do?"
They
get a lot of brochures from places with climates
similiar to London's so they
can raise the rooks
until the pollution problem is finally licked.
One place
with a similar climate, but low pollution count,
turns out to be Bangor, Maine.
So they put an ad in the paper soliciting bird fancier
and talk to a bunch of
guys in the trade.
Finally,
they engage this one guy
at the rate of $50,000 a year to raise rooks.
They
send an ornithologist over on the Concorde
with two cases of rook eggs packed
in these shatterproof cases.
They keep the shipping compartment constantly
heated and all that stuff.
So
this guy has a new business-North American Rook Farms, Inc.
He goes to work
right off incubating new rooks
so London will not become a rookiess city.
The
only thing is, the London City Council is really impatient,
and every day they
send him a telegram that says:
"Bred Any Good Rooks Lately?"
POSTERS
This
guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years.
One day the
supermarket gets new orange juice machines,
and the bag boy is really excited
and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines.
The manager says no.
The bagger says, "But I've been working here for five years.
Why can't I
run the juice machines?"
The manager answers,
"I'm sorry, son, but
baggers can't be juicers."
---------------------------
Blast from the Past
"Jay and the Americans"
Jay Black was 74 this year
##############
Stupidity
-------------------
Meanwhile.......
In Indonesia
-----
If I didn’t know any better I’d think
there
was a shortage of tools in Canada as these Canadians
go above and beyond
to share a screwdriver
to help out a fellow DIY type.
A well done advert from RONA to show its support
for the Canadian
Olympic Team
and recognize the efforts of the athletes participating
in the
London Games
################
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher,
posed the following problem
to one of her arithmetic classes:
“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million
dollars.
One-fifth is to go to his wife,
one-fifth is to go to his son,
one-sixth to his butler,
and the rest to charity.
Now, what does each get?”
After a very long silence in the classroom,
Little Morris raised his hand.
The
teacher called on Little Morris for his answer.
With complete sincerity in his
voice,
Little Morris answered,
“A lawyer!”
-------------------------------
Random Truths
----------------------------
WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!
A group
of women were at a seminar
on how to live in a loving relationship with your
husband.
The women
were asked,
"How many of you love your husband?"
All the women
raised their hands.
Then they
were asked,
"When was the last time you told your husband you loved
him?"
Some
women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember.
The women
were then told to take out their cell phones
and text their husband:
"I
love you, sweetheart."
The women
were then told to exchange phones
and to read aloud the text message responses.
Here are
some of the replies:
1.
Who is this?
2.
Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3.
I love you too.
4.
What now? Did you crash the car again?
5.
I don't understand what you mean?
6.
What did you do now?
7.
?!?
8.
Don't beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9.
Am I dreaming?
10.
If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11.
I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she?
Thanks Shelagh N
-----------------------
MEN!!!!
A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us"
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet, he decides to
have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No, yer daft bugger, I want it chewin' a bone!"
thanks Gordon H
####################
This weeks Signs
----------------------------------
enjoy!!!!!!
###############
English Stiff Upper Lip
On a train from London to Manchester , an Australian was berating
the
Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
"You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too
much. You
think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us.
Look at me... I'm ME! I have Italian blood,
Greek blood, a little
Irish
blood, and some Aborigine blood. What do you say to that
?"
The Englishman replied, "Awfully sporting of your mother, old
chap!"
----------------------------
PHILS PHILOSOPHY
Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and
videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would
like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at
philco@iinet.net.au.
1 comment:
Great post Phil. I lifted a couple of things and gave you credit as always.
Have a terrific day. ☺
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