400

Wow!!! 400 posts no wonder I'm so tired

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So, you think you know where you stand, politically.

Think again.

Interesting!
You'll be asked just 10 easy questions,

and then it instantly tells you where you stand politically.

It shows your position as a red dot on a "political map"

so you'll see exactly where you score.

The most interesting thing about the Quiz

is that it goes beyond the Democrat, Republican, and Independent.

The Quiz has gotten a lot of praise.

The Washington Post said it has

"gained respect as a valid measure of a person's political leanings."

The Fraser Institute said it's

"a fast, fun, and accurate assessment of a person's overall political views."

Suite University said it is the

"most concise and accurate political quiz out there."

Click on the link below...
Click here: World's Smallest Political Quiz

thanks Kitty L

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Two police officers saw an old woman staggering down the street,

stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink

and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home.

They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers

gets in the back with the drunk woman.

As they drove through the streets they kept

asking the old woman where she lived,

all the old lady would say as she stroked the officers arm is,

"You're Passionate."

They drove awhile longer and asked again,

but again the same response as she stroked his arm,

"You're Passionate."

The officers were getting a little upset

so they stopped the car and said to the woman,

"Look we have driven around this city for two hours

and you still haven't told us where you live!"

She replied,

"I keep trying to tell you, you're passin it!"

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How twins are made
So this is how they do it...
One of life's great mysteries solved.

(Just twenty years ago, no one would have
understood this joke!)

thanks Kitty L

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Worried that they hadn’t heard anything for days

from the elderly widow in the apartment next door,

the mother said to her son,
“Tony, would you go next door

and see how old Mrs. Pierpoint is?”
A few minutes later, Tony returned.
“Well, is she all right?” asked the mother.
“She’s fine, but she’s rather annoyed with you,” remarked Tony.
“At me?” the mother exclaimed.

“Whatever for?”
Tony replied

“Mrs. Pierpoint said it’s none of your business how old she is.”


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Blast from the Past

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Those Funny Animals

thanks Pommy Jayne


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More on Seniors

thanks Duke



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With the baseball season to start in the States soon

BONUS




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-

warped cartoons to make you smile

thanks Toni



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Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church.

One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money

and found there was less than anticipated,

given the size of the congregation.

He took Charlie aside and questioned him.

Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings.

The priest questioned him again and again

and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings.

So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional,

which he did.

The priest then asked him again,

"Charlie, did you take any of the offering?"

This time, Charlie replied,

"I can't hear you."

The priest asked Charlie the same question several times

and Charlie would always reply,

"I can't hear you."

Finally, the priest yelled,

"CHARLIE, DID YOU TAKE ANY OF THE OFFERING?"

Again, the reply was

"I can't hear you."

The priest was now beginning to get angry,

so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie,

"Trade places with me and you can ask me a question."

So, they traded places and Charlie asked,

"Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?"

To which the priest replied,

"By golly, you’re right, you can't hear in here!"

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SOMETHING AUSSIE

How many of you knew Diana Trask is an Aussie?


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All but two of the dancers were in costume early for the matinee performance.

At 1:55 the distressed director asked this pair of women

why they were not yet in costume.

The first one said, "it may seem like a silly superstition

but I never put mine on until 1:58."

"What about you, the same thing?" he asked the other dancer.

She replied,

"Oh yes, I have a two to two tutu, too!"

-- George McClughan


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The local police department answered a call

from the convent about a strange object circling overhead.

When the officer arrived to take the report,

he asked Mother Superior what kind of object it was.

"I can't say," she replied,

"but sister Elizabeth says she knows exactly what it looked like.

Would you like to speak with her?"

"That's ok," said the policeman.

"I'll just put it down as a nun-identified flying object."

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Always knew the ities were good with their hands


thanks Kitty L


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Cavemen

========

Three vampires walk into a bar.

The waitress comes up to them and asks them what they'll have

.The first vampire says,"I'll have a glass of O Positive."

The second vampire says,"I'll have a glass of AB Negative."

The third vampire says,

"I'm the designated driver.I'll just have a glass of plasma."

The waitress turns toward the bartender and yells,"

Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!"


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thanks Pommy Jane

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A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime.

They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.

As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly,

'Gee, she's fat!'

The mother bent down and whispered in the little boys ear to be quiet.

A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands

as far as they would go and announced;'

I'll bet her butt is this wide!'

The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.

The mother gave him a good telling off,

and told him to be quiet.

After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line.

Just then, her pager began to emit a beep, beep, beep

The little boy yells out,

'Run for your life, she's backing up!!'

stolen from Miss C



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WTF!!!!

What would you do if your son or Daughter

bought one of these home to meet the parents??

thanks Pommy Jayne


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"PHILS PHILOSOPHY"

ENJOY THIS

Whispering Pines" was one of songs sung by Johnny Horton

in the late 50s and early 60s.

Johnny Horton was born as John Gale Horton

in Los Angeles on 30-April-1925

and unfortunately, died in a car accident

on 05-November-1960 at the age of 35



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Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.