79
Pretty quiet weekend with the weather more moderate and am enjoying a couple of days off before the mad rush towards Xmas starts
Happens every year in the construction industry
The votes in the poll ran recently showed that 60% of those who voted liked things the way they are
So, must be doing something right

Now, You've heard about the Worlds fastest Indian
But have you seen the
World's fastest rabbit
In the second video, watch what happens to this flipped over car

FOLLOWING a heavy-metal rock concert, one punk rocker stopped at the front desk of the hotel and asked if she had any messages.

When the clerk handed her an unsigned note she asked if he could describe the man who had left it.

"That's easy," he said.

"He wore tight orange-leather pants, high-heeled black boots and a T-shirt with strategically cut holes.

I remember a row of colored safety pins through the outside edge of one ear, and he wore purple eye shadow. And his hair was orange and spiked."

"Well," she said, obviously disappointed, "that could be anybody."

Double Dose..............
A man went to his pharmacist to get a double dose of Viagra.

The pharmacist told him that he couldn't give him a double dose.

"Why not?" asked the man.

"Because it's not safe," replied the pharmacist.

"But I need it really bad," said the man.

"Well, why do you need it so badly?" asked the pharmacist.

The man said, "My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday.

My wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I must have a double dose."

The pharmacist finally relented saying, "Okay, I'll give it to you,

but you have to come in on Monday morning

so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects."

On Monday, the man dragged himself in, his right arm in a sling.

The pharmacist asked "What happened to you?"

The man said, "No one showed up."

A FEW MISC CARTOONS

There was this French man who had a dog which he was attempting to train,

but alas had very little success.

He was on the verge of despair when he happened across

a very charismatic American evangelist.

He unburdened his soul to the American,

who promptly informed him to leave the dog with him,

and he would have it trained in a jiffy.

The next day the man returns, and asks how the evangelist got on.

The reply was positive,

and the evangelist calls the dog to give a demonstration.

Picking up a stick, he throws it and says, “Fetch.”

Instantly the dog takes off, grabs the stick and returns.

The evangelist says, “Drop” and the dog drops the stick at his feet.

“Roll over,” and the dog rolls over.

By this time the dog’s owner is very excited,

and asks if he can have a go.

”Sure,” replies the evangelist.

“Heel,” says the owner.

The dog lifts one paw, places it on the man’s forehead and says,

“I command this sickness to leave you...”

Some of you who know me better, know that I own a caravan

that was parked at Moore river

Well, its for sale

As you can see its in tip top condition

It comes with a top deck , fitted with a spa and BBQ area

It is pictured here cruising down the Moore river

Interested!! Contact me

For real.

This is a coal miner from the north China province of Shanxi,

taking a bath after finishing his shift.

Breakfast in Moleland

There was a mamma mole,

a papa mole,

and a baby mole.

They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.

The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage."

The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes." The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole

but couldn't because of the two bigger moles.

The baby mole said,

"The only thing I can smell is molasses."


Warning Watch out for these blokes,because they might give you crabs

Cartoon of the Week

Watch this all the way thru
I would laugh at this but its very serious

and sadly we have a government

and a oppositon that doesn't care

ECOLOGIC OR ECOILOGIC?

-----------

JOHN HOWARD STAMP

Australia Post created a stamp with a picture of John Howard

to honour his achievements.

Unfortunately, the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

This enraged our Prime Minister,

who demanded a full investigation into the matter.

After a month of testing,the investigation revealed three findings:

1. The stamp is in perfect order.

2. There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.

3. People are spitting on the wrong side.

[sorry, just couldn't resist posting this]

THE wife had become so domineering that her husband

insisted she see a psychiatrist.

The wife consented, and the couple went to a doctor.

The husband waited outside,

and when his spouse emerged after the hour-long session,

he asked, "Did you make any progress?"

"Not much," she replied.

"It took me fifty minutes to convince that man that his couch

would look better against the wall."


Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden

.Boy : It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl : Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Tall woman
She's 21 years old, her name is Caroline Welz,

she's from Germany and she is 6 feet 9 inches (2.06 m).

A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down

out- side the operating room where another golfer

who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated.

"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.

"No," replied the man, "That's my ball!"

As there were no Music videos in the last blog

Today we have a double whammy for you The first clip is

Toto.....Rosanna

followed by

Lee Hazelwood and Nancy Sinatra....Some Velvet Morning

then comes

Gheorghe Zamfir...........Einsame Hirte

and finally

The promo Video for the 1980's

Phantom of the Opera..Michael Crawford

Enjoy

78


As I mentioned on Sundays post the weather has been a bit warmer than normal
Most of you will read this on Friday, hence the picture below
Apologies to those who like the Music clips
Blogger would not let me embed any today
So hopefully better luck on Sunday



A few weeks ago I posted that great Cadbury's Advert featuring
the Gorilla playing the drums to Phil Collins music
Here is a parody [spoof] ot that advert featuring Wonderbra
Very clever




A married couple are lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding


anniversary when the wife says


"Darling, as this is such a special occasion I think that it is time I made a confession.


Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years."
The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says


"My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years,


I cannot hold your past against you,


in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade


and spice up our sex life a bit!"
She said "I don't think you understand,


my name was Brian and I played for the Warriors."


[thanks Jim King]



Wash your hands before you leave





Where Would You Be If...
...You Had All The Money Your Heart Desires?
...You Had No Worries?
...You Came Home And The Finest Meal Was Awaiting You?
...Your favourite movie was playing on the DVD player
...You Had The Perfect Kids?
...Your Partner Was Awaiting You With Open Arms And Kisses,


Promising To Fulfill Your Every Wish?
So Really, Where Would You Be?!



Well... I'm Not Sure About You,



But...



I Sure As Hell Know



Where I Would Be!



I'd Be In The Wrong Bloody House!
---------




On the first day of their honeymoon,
the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and,
with great anticipation, crawled into bed.
When her husband wasn't shortly behind her,
she got up and went looking for him --
and found that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.
She asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her.
"I thought you realized," he replied. "It's Lent."
"What?!" she shreaked, almost in tears.
"Why, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!"
"Well, you asked, and that's the answer," he said, going back to his book.
"But..." she said.
"Who did you lend it to, and for how long?"

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods

searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves,

one blonde turned to the other and said,

"I'm chopping down the next tree I see.

I don't care if it's not decorated!"

Some Cartoons I pinched from "It occurred to me"


Thanks Mike

Cool Aviation pictures

One day, long, long ago,

there was this woman who surprisingly,

Did not whine,

nag

or bitch

But this was a long time ago

And it was just ONE day.


Train Surfing Indian Style

Idont know what it is about this picture

But its very funny

Love vs Lust vs Marriage

Love: When you take a bubble bath together

Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together

Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

Love: A romantic candle-lit dinner for two

Lust: Do I have to buy you dinner first?

Marriage: 4 McDonald's Happy Meals -- to go

Love: Giving your love some candy

Lust: Thinking you are the candy

Marriage: Scraping the kids' candy off of the carpet

Love: Sex every night

Lust: Sex 5 times a night

Marriage: Remember sex? Me either.

Love: A night out at the symphony

Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn

Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice

Love: You smell French perfume

Lust: You smell Brut aftershave

Marriage: You smell evidence that the baby needs changing...

Love: Lending your jacket to your love when she is cold

Lust: I can think of a way to stay warm...

Marriage: Your teenage daughter has borrowed all of your jackets

Love: Long drives through the countryside

Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout

Marriage: Long drives with the kids asking, "Are we there yet?"


Another Dunce!! Make sure you park quiet

Take action on Global Warming

The Himalayan Archepelago

Hoover AD

Some more Cartoons

Marbles

Hilarious video

Sent in by both Joan Andony and Jim King

Thanks

Click on pointer to activate

77
It has been a real scorcher here in Perth today with the temperature
reaching 36 C [approx 98F] and 39C forecast for tomorrow [Monday]
Spent today out in the sunshine for my Rotary club at the Belmont Fair.
So if you coming knocking on my door in the next day or two
you may be greeted with this sign???




Something to make you smile



Last chance to vote



A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.
He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk,
even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn,
screaming infrustration as she missed her chance to get through
the intersection,dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window
and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where shewas searched,
finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake.
You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn,
flipping off the guy in front of you,and cussing a blue streak at him.
I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do'bumper sticker,
the 'Choose Life' license plate holder,
the 'Follow Me toSunday-School' bumper sticker,
and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.
Naturally.....I assumed you had stolen the car."




CARTOONS

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation,

get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning,

though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity BibleCollege and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on thebehalf of the innocent."
They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.

"Ijust graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.

Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one (you knew it), a blonde, is strapped in and says,

"Well, I'm from Kansas University and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in.
C'mon. A blonde electrical engineer?

Get Real!!!


CARTOON OF THE WEEK

Coke vs Pepsi

Coke vs Pepsi video

Young pilot
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.
This was his first time approaching a field during the night time,

and instead of making any official requests to the tower,

he said, “Guess who?”
The controller switched the field lights off and replied,

“Guess where!”

------

Chinese immigrants
A Chinese family (Chu, Bu, Fu and Su) recently immigrated in the USA.

To integrate better in the society,

they have changed their names accordingly:

Chu to Chuck,

Bu to Buck.

The Fu and Su sisters decided to return to China.

-----------

Warning...Its your health [this is fair dinkum]

We all know Aussies like to wear thongs over summer

Be careful because the Chinese are using some strong but cheap chemicals in manufacturing these

Think before trying to save a few dollars

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket,

and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said,

"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

-----

Jesus
A drunk man is sitting on the sidewalk next to a bar.

A stranger sees him and asks him if he needs help walking home.

The drunk man answers:
- Hey! Do you know who I am ?
- No I don’t. Who are you ?
- I’m Jesus Christ, and I can proove it.

Come with me.
They both enter the bar.

The bartender sees them and shouts:
- Jesus, you again ?

---------

Cheapskate

A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, It's a deadgiveaway!)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your countvotes.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

Looks to good too be true

If you want to see the size of the Ozone hole over the Antarticia

click on this link below

The site has other links that you can explore

Ozone Hole Watch

More cool Aviation pictures

Here are 15 of the harshest things a woman can say to a naked man.
1. Ahhhh, it's cute.
2. Why don't we just cuddle?
3. Make it dance.
4. Wow, and your feet are so big.
5. It's okay, we'll work around it.
6. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
7. This explains your car.
8. But it still works, right?
9. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
10. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
11. Are you cold?
12. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
13. Does it come with an air pump?
14. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
15. I guess this makes me the early bird.

-------

This sure looks like one of Jim Kings dumped vehicles

For those who said I don't have a cultural bone in my body

Enjoy these

Andre Rieu playing in Dublin

Blue Danube Waltz

Here's Andre again playing with the Dubliners

Irish Washerwoman

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse.

"OOPS!"

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits.

It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since

I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."

Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake.

She turned and looked at him for an explanation.

He said, "I did that by accident."

She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."

He replied, "How did you know?"

She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole" afterwards

This guy has been sitting in a bar all night,

staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen.

Finally his curiosity gets the best of him,

so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"

The young woman looks him over and replies,

"Well, you could start by buying me a drink."
[thanks again to Robert Doohan from Kalgoorlie]





Witness Search
Good morning to you all,
This is a call for anyone who may have witnessed the following:
Yesterday, at about 14:00 all of my wheels were stolen and replaced with bricks
during the period that I was out of the office having a coffee (from 10:00 to 16:00).
I am well behind in my work and now I have to waste my time with these stupidities
and on top of it all I am probably going to be fired from my job!!!
If anyone of you, my dear friends, has seen anything, please let me know. I could
even go as far as offering a reward to whoever helps me.
Anticipated thanks.
PS. Here is a photo taken at the scene of the crime (theft with irritating
consequences).
Once again, thanks and good morning to you all.

Apple Iraq

This very funny and very relevant

Its been around for awhile and a number of you have sentit to me

Originally Chris Bone sent it in [Thanks Chris]

Click on pointer