109
G'day all
Rain forecast for tomorrow
Lets hope it happens

Last night in Brisbane Australia played India in the second game of the current 50 overs tri series [which they lost again]

Anyhow one of the events that happened during play a streaker entered the field of play.

Big mistake heading for Andrew "Roy" Symonds as he has had some training runs with the Brisbane Broncos rugby team. The streaker had his day in court today and was fined $1500

Onya Roy

What a hit ..Kid



You know you're Australian if.....
1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin
.4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".
11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.
20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.
26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.
30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".
32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".
35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".
36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.
42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber"
.43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.



CATS

Irish Shepherd
Shamus the Irish shepherd went to his doctor with a strange rash on his chest & stomach.
The doctor says to shamus, "lad, I've known you for many years and I'll be frank,

that's a lanoline burn"
Shamus admits he's been tendering the sheep with a bit to much tender care.
But the doctor was confused. "How do you get lanoline on your chest??" he asked.
Shamus replied he'd been laying underneath the sheep, instead from behind.
The doctor asked why??
"It's not the same without the kissing!?!"

Young Tereas came home and related the awesome news to her parents.

She was pregnant!
“How do you know it’s yours? Asked Paddy, her dad.

There was a power failure in a Dublin Department store.
Thousands of shoppers were stranded on the escalators for hours!

Did you hear about the Irish guy who thought that Alcoholics Anonymous meant drinking under an assumed name?
thanks Gordon Hamilton

Pepsi Godfather

Over the years one of the highest rating TV Shows has been M.A.S.H

In fact there are re runs on Foxtel cable even now

Stole this link from Miss Cellania just for all you MASH tragics
Where are they now:

the Cast of M*A*S*H.

Hint: they are either dead, painting pictures, or have a new movie coming out.






they are so many to pick from??

Probably are!!!!





-----

BOTH OF THESE STORIES ARE TRUE

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
STORY NUMBER ONE Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago...

Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic.

He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze

and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed 'Easy Eddie.' He was Capone's lawyer for a good reason.

Eddie was very good!

In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well.

Not only was the money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends.

For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help

and all of the conveniences of the day.

The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration

to the atrocity that went on around him.

Eddie did have one soft spot, however.

He had a son that he loved dearly.

Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education.

Nothing was withheld. Price was no object.

And, despite his involvement with organized crime,

Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong...

Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was.

Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son;

he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision.

Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done.

He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al 'Scarface' Capone,

clean up his tarnished name,

and offer his son some semblance of integrity.

To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob,

and he knew that the cost would be great...

So, he testified.

Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street.

But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer,

at the greatest price he could ever pay.

Police removed from his pockets

a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.

The poem read:

'The clock of life is wound but once,

and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop at late or early hour.

Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will.

Place no faith in time.

For the clock may soon be still.'________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes.

One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare.

He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier USS Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission.

After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank.

He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.

His flight leader told him to return to the carrier.

Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.

As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold.

A squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding toward the American fleet.

The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless.

He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet.

Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger.

There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert themfrom the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in,

attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another.

Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes

as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent.

Undaunted, he continued the assault He dove at the planes,

trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible

and rendering them unfit to fly.

Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier.

Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return.

The film from the gun-mounted camera on his plane told the tale.

It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet.

He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft.

This took place on February 20, 1942,

and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II,

and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor.

A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29.
His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade,

and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage ofthis great man.

So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International,

give some thought to visit Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor.

It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was 'Easy Eddie's' son.
thanks Jim King

Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself nude in a mirror, after a relaxing bath.

Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight was depressing her.
In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help..

."God...if you take away my love handles,

I'll devote my life to you," sheprayed.
And at that very moment, her ears fell off...........
thanks Jammo


Oh .......for a dogs life

MUSIC
Ihad forgotten what a great singer Jay Black was until one of the local radio stations played this today

Ithink he started out as an opera singer, but a very smart manager got him into the pop music industry
Jay and the Americans

Cara Mia

Come a little bit closer