Phils Phun

116
Much to the relief of all the wowsers and no hopers,
daylight saving finished in Western Australia last weekend
They can all now sleep in an extra hour???
If its any consolation my curtains which faded badly over summer , due to all that extra sunshine, looked remarkably bright Monday morning!!!!
[mob of losers]
We got drenched with 40mm of rain on Monday which was tremendous

Cart Whisperer

This cracked me up

Watch it twice

Two Swedish sisters go into a photo place to get their picture taken. Not being very educated, they question each other on what the photographer is doing.
When he goes under the black cloth, one sister turns to the other and asks…

“Vots he goink to do?”
Her sister answers, “He’s goink to focus!”
The second cries, “Bot of us?”

Cartoons [Misc]

A police officer was driving through an old part of town when he saw a former lieutenant on foot. The officer stopped and asked, "Hey Pat, this isn't your new beat is it?"
Pat said, "Unfortunately it is ever since I arrested a judge on the way to a costume ball."
"Why did you do that?"asked the officer.
Answered the former lieutenant, sadly,

"How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?"
The officer thought about it for a moment and said,
"Well, I suppose it is best never to book a judge by his cover."

Space Junk

CANBERRA (Reuters)

- A cattle farmer in Australia’s remote northern outback on Friday

said he had found a giant ball of twisted metal,

which he believes is space junk from a rocket used to launch communications satellites.
Farmer James Stirton found the odd-shaped ball last year on his 40,000 hectare property, about 800 kilometres (500 miles) west of the northern Queensland state capital of Brisbane.
But Stirton only started inquiring into what the ball of metal really was,

and where it had come from, in the past week.
“I was riding out to check some cattle, and I came around the corner

and there it was in a paddock,” Stirton told Reuters on Friday.
“I know a lot of about sheep and cattle but I don’t know much about satellites.

But I would say it is a fuel cell off some stage of a rocket.”
He said the object was hollow, and covered in a carbon-fibre material.

He has contacted some U.S.-based aerospace companies

to try to find out what the object really is.

Sydney’s Powerhouse Museum said it was not uncommon for people

to find spacejunk in remote areas of Australia.
In 1979, large parts of the Skylab space station fell to earth near

a tiny outback town in Australia’s west.

A local council sent NASA a ticket for littering

and then United States President Jimmy Carter rang a local motel to apologise.

(Reporting by James Grubel; Editing by David Fox)

She was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid,

and she didn’t like all these jokes.

To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart

.In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state.

It wasn’t an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.

A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke.

This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs

that had been done to blondes in the past -

she would set these men straight!

Marching over at a rapid pace she announced,

“It isn’t true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it.

Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is.”

Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked,

“Ok, how about Arizona?”

The Blonde, after pausing for a moments thought,

proudly gave the answer,“A”!

Three blonds are on an island and they find a lamp, rub it, and a genie pops out.

He says he’ll give each of them one wish.
The first blond says “I wish I were twice as smart as I am now

so I can figure out a way off this island.”
The genie turns her into a redhead, she builds a raft, and floats off the island.
The second blond says “I wish I were ten times as smart as I am now,

so I can figure out a way off this island.”
The genie turns her into a brunette, she builds a plane, and flies off the island.
The third blond says “I wish I were a hundred times as smart as I am now,

so I can figure a way off this island.”
The genie turns her into a man and he takes the bridge.

Handbag 32 Euro

Food for a week 4 Euro

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,
‘What a great chest!’

He tells her,
‘That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, Baby.’
He takes off his pants and the blonde says

‘What massive calves you have’

The body builder tells her,
‘That’s another 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.’

He then removes his underwear,

and the blonde goes running out of the flat screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.
He catches up to her and asks why she ran

The blonde replies,
‘I was afraid to be around all that dynamite

after I saw how short the fuse was!’

Room 534

My good friend Bunk over at Tacky Raccoons was interested in some Aussie slang

This is an Australian comedian called Austen Tayshus

This is fairly old[1983] but has some good slang in the clip

Austen makes good use of Australian places,animals and slang

If your visiting the great land down under

here are some road signs you might come accross

Be very aware of this one

A science professor was lecturing students on the size of the universe.
"The Earth is but a spec in our solar system", he said.
"And our solar system is but a spec in our galaxy".
"Furthermore our galaxy is but a spec in the cosmos which is but a spec in the universe".
"How do you know this, Professor?", asked a student.
The professor replied,
"SPECULATION".

Music

Its been some time since I posted an Elvis song

Here is one of his early ones

Elvis Presley....Young and Beautiful