295

-----------------------------
Clean Energy

--------------------------------------------
A man walks into a bar and says'

"Bartender, give me a shot of the strongest thing you've got"

He takes the shot glass and knocks it back

He then asks for another and knocks that one back, too

After 5 or 6 of these the Bartender decides that he is going to

cut the bloke off.

He says to the bloke,

"Hey, whats wrong with you? Did you have a fight with

your wife or something?"

The man sighs and says

"Yeah, after the fight she said that she wasn't going

to speak to me for a whole week"

The Bartender, puzzled, says,

"Well, whats wrong with that?"

The man replied,

"Well today's the last day!"

------------------------------------------------------

A Jew and a Christian were arguing about the ways of their religion.

The Jewish man said,

"You people have been taking things from us for thousands of years;

The Ten Commandments, for instance."

The Christian replied,

"Well, its true that we took the Ten Commandments from you,

but you can't actually say that we have kept them!"




It's that Colour Pink again

-------------------


Suicide Bunny

--------------------------------------------------

Tiger Shark sighted on Perth Beach

Five Rules for men to follow for a happy life

1, Its important to have a women who helps at home, cooks from time to time,

cleans up and is willing to fulfill her role without undue complaining

2 Its important to have a woman who can make you laugh

3 Its important to have a woman whom you can trust and doesn't lie to you

4 Its important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you

5 Finally, its very important that these four women not know each other

Sincerely

Tiger Woods

---------------------------------------------


From the cheese and Kisses

thanks Liz Z


A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue......

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do, every time my

husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp..."

Doctor: Ihave a real good medicine against that: When your

husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea

and start gargling with it, just gargle and gargle

Two weeks later she comes back to the Doctor and

looks reborn and fresh again.

Woman: "Doc, that was a brillant idea!, every time my

husband came home drunk I gargled repatedly with chamomile tea

and he never touched me"

Doctor: "you see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!"

-------------------------------------

Airlines

Wendy meets Tammy for lunch.

"You're looking very tired today, Tammy. Did you

have a late night?"

"Yes" replied Tammy, "but it was all very strange, While doing

some gardening yesterday, I found a lamp, so I rubbed it and

out popped a genie. He gave me a choice of two wishes"

"Wow" said Wendy, "so what were the two choices he gave you, Tammy?"

"He said he could either give me an excellent, sharp, 100% memory,

or else he could give my boyfriend a bigger penis"

"So tell me already, Tammy,what did you chose?"

"I can't remember" replied Tammy.

stolen from Miss Cellania


---------------------------------------

The football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba

had so many women hanging around that he
couldn't possibly handle all of them.

So one day he asked Bubba,

"Just what the hell is your secret?"

So Bubba replies

"Well Coach, whenever I'm about to have sex, I always

whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs

it and I can have sex with them forever!"

The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom,

He heard his wife in the shower.

Seeing a window of opportunity, he tore off his clothes,

and started banging it on the dresser.

His wife stuck her head out of the shower and said.

"Is that you, Bubba?"


-------------------------------------------------

PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All jokes cartoons , images and pictures on this site are deemed to be in the public domain

If you own the copyright to any of these and wish me to remove them

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au