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Doing her bit for Xmas
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TIGER WOODS
Sorry, couldn't resist the temptation
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It is near the Christmas break of the school year.
The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do.
All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask,
first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself
"Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth,
Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says,
"Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says,
"John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says,
"I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around:
"NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
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Once a Diamond always a Diamond
Thanks Stevie Boy from Kalgoorlie
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A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom,
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For the Golfers
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Chutzpah
Chutzpah is a Yiddish word meaning gall, brazen nerve, effrontery,
sheer guts plus arrogance;
its Yiddish
and, as Leo Rosten writes, no other word, and no other language,
can do it justice.
This example is better than 1,000 words...
THE ESSENCE OF CHUTZPAH...
A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each..
Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time,
and as he passed the pretzel stand,
he would leave her a quarter,
but never take a pretzel.
And this went on for more then 3 years.
The two of them never spoke.
One day, as the young man passed the old lady's stand
and left his quarter as usual,
the pretzel lady spoke to him.
Without blinking an eye she said:
"They're 35 cents now."
thanks Liz Z
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Today's Youth
Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train
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Thanks Liz Z
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Well, what can I say!!!!
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse.
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PHILS PHILOSOPHY
1 comment:
I stole the government joke. Ain't it the truth.
I love the weather during your Christmas. Very, very much. Lucky.
Have a terrific day. :)
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